Love

I spend a lot of time
watching her watch the world
through the big picture window

She seldom ever touches her phone

Yesterday she said
“Have you ever been in love?
and heaven is reflected in his sky blue eyes.”

She sipped something acrid
Said
“It’s like your heart is like a shooting star
cutting across a blood red twilight.
And I feel so light . . .
sensuous in falling.”

I wanted to tell her. . .

She said
“Timeless,
no idea of rhyme or reason,
only Love.”

Silent Undertaking

I have devoted my life to the study of Silences

While it may be true that we are a speaking species
Every good playwright
Every good composer
Every good architect
knows the value of using silences
Silences that can carve a volume out of solid stone walls
Silences that can paint a room in ambers or greys

There is the cold aching of the silence between the stars

There are grey silences
The silence of the room after the other has left
The silence of a room where they will never come again

There are choking silences
when your mouth is so full of love it can’t let your heart out
When there just aren’t words enough . . .
And you would give anything to break that silence

There are warm glowing silences
When you can sit back to back and read the Sunday paper
And pass funnies . . .
Quiet laughing

There are silences
When you just look at the warm glow of her
And no words are necessary
As the presence of her fills your every sense

Total Super Blood Wolf Lunar eclipse January 20, 2019

Total Super Blood Wolf Lunar eclipse
January 20, 2019

The lingering memory of a January day
the sky blue as a Raven’s wing
Relentless wind, so certain of it’s destination
howling most of the day,
15mph with gusts over 25mph.

A Sunny South day
the color of Union soldiers
who died
because they never expected the South
to be so unforgivingly bitter cold

I rub my hands
Check to see if my camera is comfortable
(Christmas is truly the Season of Tripods as gifts)
Somewhere near the dawn of the Wolf Moon
the restless dragon wind settles down,
but it’s hovering in the upper 20’s

The sky
the night sky I love so much
clear
and crisp
and sharp enough to cut you

The Super Moon closer than ever
huge at the horizon
now several hands above the rim of the World

The grass I mow
Pebble and rock Zen garden darken
Stillness grows
Silence

My lady smiles
radiant
as some darkness takes an ever encroaching bite
Time, unrelenting and unapologetic
advances the dancers

Darkness eats my Lady’s face
but does not consume her fully
Bruising her instead

Reddish-purple trauma
creeping in the wake
of the invisible assailant

I busy my hands to keep them warm
I switch to my other glasses
I try to find the snack I set out
anything to distract me from her trauma

Reddening apparent early
The umbra of the Lady’s assassin
The beautiful edge of the Moon glimmering brightly
contrasting the red as it deepens

In half of my heart
I am back in the cave
Seeing all this as the wrath of Angry Gods
A Punishment deserved by absented kings and mad knights

and I am afraid

Please don’t take her form me
I know she left me to die that time
but I love her still
The indifferent stars smile toothy smiles
all the brighter in her darkening

Totality!
The Darkness of a Super Blood moon
All I can do is wait. . .

My hands are shaking

A the thinnest edge of Hope I’ve ever seen
cuts along the trailing edge of the assassin

She Heals!
All parts of my heart sing

I miss the shot with my camera
by my heart holds that image in my mind

The fever broken
the Lady convalesces in the most pure sky
I have ever known

My hands calm
My eyes make my face cold

Total Super Blood Wolf Lunar eclipse
January 20, 2019

In Shadow

 

Her shadow eyes meet mine
Though she is more than a memory
and less than a myst
I can almost see her
like the day I first saw her

Without making even a whisper of a ripple
she places her hand on mine
A cold bite
and I share a measure of my warmth

Vapor soft, her voice says
“I am frightened
of the thing I have become.”

I choke
failing to properly say
“Honestly, I don’t mind.”

She looks down
Says
“I wanted to give you children. . .”
She places a finger of ice on my lips
before I can tell her
that none of that ever mattered

The cold burns me

She lifts deadly earnest eyes
Eyes as dark as the night I drove her to the sea
She says
“You’re only fault was loving me.”
and she was gone

The Goodbye

She left. . .
she left something behind

and the ghost of her other lover
detached from shadow

his steps barely marking the mud in the road

she left somethings behind
him and the tiny bear of cloth
her imaginary friend and her childhood

she left down a muddy road
leaving footprints and lost loves behind
in the mud of a thawing spring day. . .

he lifted the tiny bear
brushed it off as best he could
put it under his tattered coat
next to his silent heart

neither were ever seen again

Visceral Wisdom

If your heart is broken
then how do you breathe?
If you can’t breathe
then how is it that you scream?
If you can’t hear
then how do you know?

I sometimes wonder if we even need a judge
for all the good and bad we’ve done
We seem to do a very good job of tormenting ourselves

Breathe
You deserve the air in your lungs
Scream
until you’re exhausted
Find a silence to live in
if only for a moment
and listen to your visceral wisdom

The fiber of your being speaks volumes
The breath you are drawing knows
without knowing how it knows
how to nourish the blood given by your ancestors
Trust to your inner most being